Getting over a break up has always been a tough one for me. For that reason, I have always been reluctant to allow people into my life. If you are like me once in a blue moon you meet someone special and one day before you know it, they are pasted all over your heart. I have never handled break-ups well, though. There is this great sorrow that soars through my soul and putting one foot in front of the other becomes an arduous daily task, a battle to get out of bed…..hey you – get up!!!!! It is okay to feel what you are feeling, as a matter of fact it is healthy, but remember to keep moving to a better you. How do you do that, consider the following:
- REMEMBER TO DO SELF-CARE: Dress up, try on a new make-up or hairstyle, change up your work-out routine, start a work out routine, try a new fragrance….feel and look good
- GIVE YOUR LIVING SPACE A MAKEOVER: Paint an accent wall or change around your furniture, this really does work wonders
- BUY A NEW PIECE OF CLOTHING: Don’t go over board with this or you may go broke, but buy something new and different from what you normally wear. Make plans with friends this weekend and wear that thing!!!!
- UPDATE YOUR BUCKET LIST/VISION BOARD: Include updates on your educational goals, professional goals, places you want to travel to, update your financial goals, fitness goals, spiritual goals, etc.
- BE PATIENT: Give yourself time to feel what you are feelings, but remember not to get stuck there. Stop trying to figure it out, just feel what you are feeling and get back to the fabulous ideas on this list. Trying to figure out what went wrong is detrimental to your healing. Two people were involved in your relationship and it will take those same two people to really sit down and hash out all the details of why you are not together….as we all know, most times in relationships this does not happen.
- START READING: Self-help books, the Bible. or even learn a new language! Train your brain, learn, expand your horizons through the reading of words
- BE GRATEFUL: It is easy to sulk about love being lost, but be grateful for what you do have.
- DELETE THAT NUMBER: Delete your ex’s number from your phone. This will prevent you from calling, texting, or accidentally calling. You can write it down and tuck it away somewhere, but it does not have to be readily available right there on your phone.
- MAKE PLANS: Make plans to do fun stuff. Call up a friend or call up a group of friends and make plans to go to dinner, walk in the park, or perhaps do that backyard BBQ, don’t forget the games and music. Make plans for a weekend trip or if you can’t do that, plan for a day trip just to get away.
- MUSIC: Speaking of music. Play it often and play it loud. Pick a tear jerker country song to help you process your feelings and then kick it over to some classic feel good songs. Sing it out, dance it out….music says the things that we cannot express.
- START A HOBBY OR RETURN TO DOING THE THINGS YOU ENJOY: You know what you like to do or want to do…..do it!!!!!
- CLOSURE: Stop obsessing over closure. Real closure is a gift and is seldom given. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, you have to live…make it a beautiful life – that is your best closure.
- DATING: Don’t rush into dating too soon, but don’t close your heart to it either. Be honest with yourself and with the person that you go on the date with. They will appreciate your honesty and you will not have the guilt.
- FORGIVE: There are soooo many other things that I could add to this list, but I am going to end this with forgiving YOURSELF. Forgive yourself for the mistakes that you made, for moments that you lost yourself to the other person, for the times your did not hold true to who you are. While you are doing all of that if you are able to forgive your ex, then do it, but don’t feel guilty if you can’t right now. Make forgiving your ex a goal versus demanding it from yourself from a place that can’t even comprehend your healing yet.